Hi, ntwrkrs! I’m thrilled to be here and sharing my experiences on these pages with you! Before we dive in, let me give you a glimpse into my journey: I’ve been part of Direct Sales for over fourteen years, starting as what you might call a ‘kitnapper’ in the business, simply signing up to get discounts and free items on products I already loved. However, once I stepped behind the scenes, I dove in headfirst, finding it incredibly enjoyable work with no red tape—Network Marketing was refreshingly different from my previous professional life in the military. As a proud retired veteran of the United States Air Force, transitioning into direct sales was both an exciting and transformative experience!

This new path not only provided a platform for me to utilize my leadership skills and grow as an entrepreneur, but it also came at a time when I was embracing motherhood for the first time. My son was barely a year old when I retired, and since then, the opportunities and adventures in this field have been nothing short of a thrilling roller coaster ride that I’m eager to share.

In this chapter, I want to dive into a concept that I passionately believe in: Do it messy, do it scared, do it now. Embracing the ‘messy’ approach is crucial because all too often we become perfectionists, and this perfectionism becomes our biggest hurdle, obstructing our growth. My goal is to open your eyes to your potential; to demonstrate that perfectionism isn’t necessary for success.

Yes, I’ll admit, I’ve strived to be flawless in the past. But it’s important to realize that the key to growth is to break free from that mindset. It’s about taking action, not letting fear of judgment or the pursuit of perfection hold you back. It’s about getting out there, sharing your story, and just doing it! This mindset has been a game-changer for me and a central lesson I impart to my team and other women in entrepreneurship. We often stand in our own way, but the mantra I live by and encourage others to adopt is straightforward: get out of your own way, and just do it!

So, are you ready to go on this mission with me?

We’re about to explore five key areas that will revolutionize your approach to business. We’ll delve into the ways that ‘doing it messy’ in products, systems, social media, leadership, and, crucially, authenticity—the glue that binds all these elements together—will lead you to success in Network Marketing!

Products

First off, let’s tackle the topic of products. Do you believe that you need to master every product detail right away to share it with your team, your customers, or your social media following? Well, think again! You don’t need to be an expert on every product detail right away. That knowledge will come naturally as you engage more with clients and your business. Trust in your company, your upline, and your mentors to guide your learning process. 

Transitioning from a skincare company to one centered on fashion was a significant shift for me. Coming from a military police background, where I needed to know everything about anything, I was incredibly uncomfortable not having learned the entire catalog before getting out in the field. Initially, I was obsessed with perfection, meticulously detailing every product feature, its uses, and benefits. But after watching myself on video and being shocked at how robotic I sounded, I realized it was more about sharing my enthusiasm. “Hey, everyone, I’m loving what I’m doing. Check out this fantastic product,” became my new approach. Getting too hung up on perfection hindered the potential for a genuine connection with others.

Embrace the messiness of the process: stumble, fumble, and fall. That’s what makes you relatable. Authenticity resonates with people; they’re drawn to someone who’s real and imperfect just like themselves. Witnessing your journey, your growth—that’s engaging. And not knowing everything is perfectly okay! I remember telling my troops during my service in the military, “If you don’t know the answer, it’s fine to say, ‘I’m not sure, but I’ll find out and get back to you.’” This genuine effort to engage opens the door to meaningful interactions.

The key point here is embracing your imperfections and showcasing your passion. There’s always that one reason that draws you into what you’re doing. Lean into that! The more you share why you fell in love with your venture, the more people are drawn to your story. It’s your unique energy and passion that captivate them. So, the action steps for ‘doing it messy’ in this section are:

1. Make sure you’re having fun! Let go of the need for flawlessness. Being overly structured and robotic can alienate people—they’re looking for content they can connect with, not a step-by-step instruction manual.

2. Remember why you first joined and share that passion. This will help you to authentically draw your audience in. After all, they joined for a reason, too, and you can help remind them of that.

3. Let your expertise evolve gradually and share it with your team. Take the time to learn and understand your products, and watch as you become a relaxed, genuine expert. Then, you can continue to provide value to your team via the learn, do, teach process, consistently giving them new content to lean into.

Systems

Once I grasped the importance of delivering product knowledge in a relatable way, I realized the necessity of having a streamlined system—especially as a stay-at-home mom who transitioned into the role of a special needs homeschooling parent to my autistic son during COVID and beyond! Balancing my business alongside this new responsibility was challenging, to say the least, and I found myself drowning in notebooks—six or seven of them—for tracking different aspects of my business. Managing follow-ups, keeping track of conversations, and directing my energy became chaotic. 

Everyone’s life circumstances are unique, and mine required a streamlined follow-up system—something that would allow me to set tasks and then focus on other priorities. This approach made my interactions with clients more meaningful and encouraged more genuine connection. However, I faced a hurdle with my system implementation. 

The perfectionist in me wanted everything lined up exactly how I thought it should be before I began using it. I sat on a texting system for eighteen months, hesitant to embrace it. This reluctance nearly led to shutting down, which was terrifying, considering the effort I’d put into building my brand and network! Eventually, I realized the importance of just diving in, learning in bits, and actively using the tools at my disposal. The key was to start, messy or not.

My day-to-day life as a mom, teacher, and therapist to my autistic son was already demanding. During the period of lockdown, I became everything for my son, which led to me losing touch with myself and the focus needed for my business. Adding professional responsibilities meant I had to be efficient and adaptable, making the most of the tools available to manage my time and tasks effectively.

So, the lesson here is to find a system that fits into your life seamlessly. Once you’ve chosen a system, commit to it and give it a fair chance. I was distracted by newer, seemingly better options, constantly switching from one shiny new system to another instead of dedicating myself to one and mastering it. I’ll admit, I invested in over a dozen different systems, spending countless hours transferring my client information. I would try one, find it lacking in some areas, and then hop to another. This cycle of jumping between systems wasted weeks, if not months!

Finally, I returned to the very first system I had chosen, and it’s the one I still use and love. It allows me to manage my client follow-ups automatically, freeing me to focus on deepening my relationships with more meaningful interactions beyond just sales. So, here’s what I recommend: 

1. Define what you need from a system. Is it more engagement with your community? Or more reach so you can find more customers? What’s the purpose behind it? Make sure it’s cost-effective, user-friendly, and scalable for team growth.

2. Look for tools that automate processes. Once you find them, start using them, even if they don’t seem perfect! Even if they aren’t your ‘forever tools,’ you’ll gain valuable insight into what you want long-term by diving in and experimenting.

3. Fine-tune the system as you go. Check in with yourself periodically and assess how your system is working for you. It’s ok to adapt and change your systems as your business grows!

Social Media

Now, let’s shift gears to a crucial aspect of our business today: social media. When I first started in this profession, social media was just taking off. Facebook had only been around for a year or two, and the concept of online parties or a significant online presence was still novel. I was fortunate to be part of a company that was pioneering these online initiatives, guiding us on how to navigate this new terrain. However, even today, for anyone just starting out, I understand that the world of social media can be incredibly daunting and, honestly, quite intimidating. My advice? Look to your mentors, the resources your company offers, and lean into those. Utilize the tools at your disposal. 

For many newcomers, and perhaps even for you, this online realm can feel foreign. Recording and sharing videos, for instance, doesn’t come naturally for everyone! I witness it all the time with my new team members—it’s a real culture shock for them, even if they’ve been posting personal pictures or funny videos for years.

When I first started out, I again let my military background lead, the result being that I approached social media with too much structure. But quickly, I reviewed my early live sessions to see how I’d done. And guess what? As you might guess, I found them almost unbearable to watch! Something had to be done, but I didn’t know how to tweak my delivery just yet.

Then, on a quiet evening at home, with everyone else asleep and a bottle of wine for courage, I decided to let loose. I played around with all the filters, including one that was a face-distorting one to talk about ‘spooktacular deals’ in a mixed-up Irish-British accent. This was totally out of character for me! Still, it was also fun and refreshing, and I remembered that it didn’t matter if it wasn’t perfect, only that I was having fun doing it.

That moment marked a turning point for me. Even to this day, I look back and laugh because in my mind, a star was born—a bold, zany, off-beat, open book of a messy star, that is! It had dawned on me that if I wasn’t enjoying myself, my audience probably wasn’t either. Embracing the ‘messy’ became essential. I remember instances during my live sessions when my toddler, in the midst of potty training, would barge into the bathroom while in the camera’s view. I’d have to pause my training, saying, “Excuse me a moment!” while attending to him. You could hear his little celebrations, and mine too, in the background—plus, my followers were cheering both him and me on. This was my a-ha moment. It was messy, and real, and authentically me. And as a result, I had finally connected with my tribe!

Sharing these slices of my life with my viewers became the real magic. It was about letting people into my world, just as you would with close friends. This approach resonated with me deeply, and I knew it was the direction I wanted to take my business in. By opening up and sharing my life, I was able to connect with my audience on a much more personal and authentic level. Now, let’s focus on some practical steps for your social media strategy: 

1. Start by jotting down all your fears about showing up as your imperfect self. They might be logical or completely irrational, but just identify what exactly is making you feel scared. Be honest—what are you truly afraid of? 

2. Make short videos and then throw them away. Create a video, then simply discard it. There’s no need to review it. In fact, I recommend not watching it at all! Repeat this process a few times. By the third or fourth attempt, you might feel ready to watch and evaluate your progress. This exercise is like a workout for your confidence! It’s about strengthening your mindset and realizing that making videos isn’t as daunting as it seems. 

3. Share videos with your VIP group and ask for input. Take the leap and broadcast these videos in a space where you feel safe and supported. This group should be full of your cheerleaders, offering encouragement and love. Then, let your guard down, ask for their honest feedback, and use that feedback to improve your videos.

4. Share videos with the world. After you’ve completed steps one through three, you’ll find that the fears you initially listed aren’t as overwhelming as they seemed! Real-life moments, like your son running around or your husband interrupting with dinner, make your content relatable and authentic. These are the moments that will encourage a connection with your audience.

Leadership

Navigating leadership can indeed be a complex challenge, particularly when embracing the ethos of ‘doing it messy.’ It’s important to recognize that while your business and company offer fantastic resources and tools, the challenge often lies in avoiding the trap of feeling compelled to mimic what you observe. When I began, I admired many leaders, incredible women who were achieving remarkable things. I’d catch myself thinking, “I wish I could be like that,” yet deep down, I knew I wasn’t the same.

I vividly remember seeing them walk across the stage and I was like, Oh my gosh, they’re so gorgeous. I’m far from being a fashionista. I’m a country girl at heart, often in a jeep with my hair a mess, a stay-at-home mom covered in baby spit-up! That glamorous image just wasn’t me. However, I realized that’s not why people were drawn to me. They connected with the real, unpolished me. This realization led me to stop the self-comparisons and embrace my own light.

It took a leap of courage for me to step aside from trying to replicate others and embrace my uniqueness. Doing it messy, doing it scared—that was my mantra as I refined my leadership style. I realized that I had something distinct to offer, a different approach to leadership, a unique journey to share. And that’s what you need to embrace.

Being an entrepreneur grants you the freedom to carve out your path. You’re at the helm of your venture, steering it in the direction you choose. Draw inspiration from your leaders but focus on what brings you joy and where you envision your business heading! Forge your path, aligning it with your personal life and circumstances. Each of us brings our own wisdom to the table, and it’s about leveraging that to craft a unique entrepreneurial journey. So, I want you to take the following crucial initial step: Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Let your unique light shine through. When I understood that I didn’t need to emulate others, my diverse background has shaped me and helps me connect with like-minded individuals.

I often hear from my team members, “I can’t go live like you do.” In the world of women’s intimate fashion that I’m now part of, there’s an element of boldness involved. Sometimes it almost feels like I’m wearing just my bathing suit! Initially, I had reservations, considering my background in the military and my male followers. I even wondered what my husband might think. But then I discovered how to present this tastefully and with grace, showcasing the empowering aspects of what I offer.

If I wasn’t out there sharing this, who would? It was a call to action for me, and it spurred me to move forward. I tell my team, “You don’t have to follow my path. Create your own journey, share it your way.” It’s about using the mentorship and tools provided by your company and tailoring them to fit your vision and goals. When you step out of the shadows and stop trying to be a replica of others, you’ll reach your zenith. 

You’ll also gain the genuine respect of the people you help! I once had a client approach me in tears, thanking me for being brave enough to talk about women’s issues and making her feel seen. If I hadn’t had the courage to go live and share, I would have missed the ultimate reason most of us are in Network Marketing in the first place: we want to help people live better lives! So, here are some action steps to achieve your own unique brand of leadership:

1. Let your leaders guide you, not mold you. You’re not supposed to be a carbon copy of your upline! Be inspired by your leaders, absorb all of their knowledge and wisdom, and then make it uniquely yours.

2. Use company resources as a springboard. Take the processes and tools given to you by your company and build an operational foundation for your business, and then add in your own systems. Remember, these resources were developed to maximize your success!

3. Promote unique leadership styles in your team. Once you have a team underneath you, it’s quite possible that certain members will try to emulate your style because they don’t yet understand how valuable their unique brand is. It’s so important to encourage them and show them how to be authentic and celebrate their individual successes!

Authenticity

As I’ve emphasized throughout this chapter, my journey into the Network Marketing profession followed a lengthy career in the military. And in the years between retiring from the military and running my business full-time, I tried to blend a corporate civilian job, first-time motherhood, and a direct sales side hustle. However, I underestimated the immense challenge of navigating all three simultaneously. On top of the constant context-switching, my son was diagnosed with autism, which introduced new hurdles.

I knew that I couldn’t be in all three places at once—the corporate world, the side hustle, and the world of full-time motherhood. So, I left the corporate job to pursue Network Marketing and motherhood. And I dived into this profession with everything I had! But all those years in the military began showing up in my interactions with my team. I’d been trained to maintain a strong front professionally; to never display weakness or vulnerability in front of my team. And I kept that strong front up, at least for a while.

However, trying to navigate the new territory autism was creating cracks in the dam, so to speak. I knew what autism was, of course, but this close personal connection to it brought a new level of anxiety, confusion, and a feeling of helplessness into my life. And one particularly rough day, during a live session, everything changed. I was conducting a tutorial for my clients when the emotional weight of my situation overwhelmed me.

Suddenly, I couldn’t continue. I stopped and said, “I can’t do this anymore. I just need to talk!” Tears flowed as I opened up about everything weighing on my heart. And in that revealing moment, I was shown the power of our platform—not just for promoting products but for connecting deeply with others who might be experiencing similar challenges. 

That day, I became more than just a business owner; I became a voice for other parents navigating similar paths. Just as surprising, perhaps, was the realization that I, Heather, the former military police officer who didn’t need anyone, really needed that support network. The outreach from people saying, “Heather, we’re here for you, keep us updated,” was more comforting than I could have imagined. And over time, I’ve built what I call my tribe—a group of people who are constantly there for support and encouragement. Whether it’s celebrating good days or sharing the struggles of the bad ones, this community has become an integral part of my life. So, when it comes to authenticity, here are your action steps:

1. Open yourself up and be vulnerable. It’s not about always being the one in tears, of course, but it’s about sharing the full range of your experiences, from the falls and the triumphs.

2. Tell your stories, especially about the times you failed. Your story could be a beacon of hope for someone else who’s facing similar challenges. They might see how you rise from difficult situations, shine even brighter, and find inspiration in your journey.

3. Boldly commit to bringing that authenticity into everything you do. Show that vulnerability, share your growth, and let others see how you navigate and learn from life’s ups and downs.

Friends, I hope I’ve imparted to you through this chapter that authenticity (do it messy), vulnerability (do it scared), and imperfection (do it now) are essential to achieving success in the Network Marketing profession. I can’t imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t embraced these three qualities, but I know for certain that I wouldn’t have the thriving, supportive business that I have today. 

So, I encourage you: step into your authenticity, vulnerability, and imperfection! Be real in every aspect of your journey. Whether it’s confronting your fears, navigating through the messiness, or simply forging ahead into the unknown, the key is to just get started and be genuine in every step you take. Take that leap, however daunting it may seem, and let your true self shine through in all you do. I’m rooting for you!