I remember the day that changed everything. It was a warm July afternoon, and I found myself stepping into our daylight basement, where my husband, Brad, was taking a break between sales appointments. My heart pounded as I prepared to share my most recent decision with him, and honestly, with myself.

“Brad, I’ve decided I don’t want to be married to you anymore. I can’t even think of one thing I like about you. We were just kids when we walked down the aisle, and if I had the chance to do it all over again, well, I wouldn’t. Our paths have gone in different directions. I’m seeing other men. I don’t want any of this any longer—I don’t even want to be a mom anymore. It’s time for me to start my new chapter and live my best life.”

Looking back today, I recognize how utterly lost that version of me was. So, when the writing team for Leading Ladies asked me which critical piece of information I would share with readers if I could only choose one, I knew immediately that it would be this: Our alignments determine our assignments. And that’s what my chapter is all about—because your circle, the people you align with, shape not just what you believe is possible but ultimately who you become! My journey, filled with missteps and victories, taught me the invaluable lesson that who we let into our lives matters. I am beyond grateful to be joining the other amazing authors in this book, sharing a twenty-five-year path that’s been anything but straightforward.

But let’s not dive in just yet, ntwrkrs! I’d like to backtrack a bit so I can share some highlights from my personal history. I grew up in the Northwest, the oldest of seven, in a home that was filled with love—but not drive. In my family, generations of people were taught that the ‘right’ path was to go to school, get a job to pay the bills, and then one day retire with enough money to (hopefully) live on.

From a young age, none of that resonated with me. I felt different. There was a spark in me that wanted more. I paid more attention to the world around me and my dreams of a future than to my homework, and I barely graduated high school. I wasn’t dumb, by any means, I was just bored! And after high school, it didn’t get much better. I didn’t see the point in going to college, and soon my feelings of boredom turned to rebellion. I went through the motions as an elementary school teacher’s aide while I tried to figure out what I was going to do with my life.

One afternoon, the sweet school librarian approached me in the break room. She said, “Heidi, there’s something special about you. I think you should meet my daughter.” Later that week, I was introduced to Cindy, my first mentor. I learned that Cindy was a top leader in her company, which was a candle-based Network Marketing company. I learned that she set her own hours and made great money on her terms, which was exactly the kind of career I was looking for! Meeting Cindy sparked a flame in me, so to speak, and I dove headfirst into learning about leadership and business.

Fast forward a few years, and I met Brad: a goal-oriented man who shared my passion for growth. We started a life together, brimming with passion and ambitions. And despite the zigzag journey to the success that we have now, at 43 years old, and married for 23 years, I can finally look back and appreciate everywhere we needed to go to get here. But those decades were rife with challenges. I had to learn the hard way that listening to the wrong voices would take me to the wrong places in life, and that only the right voices would lead me to where I belonged.

And now, living in one of America’s most prosperous cities with my family, I lead a successful company in a male-dominated industry with my husband and am a top leader in a global Network Marketing company. My path to success hasn’t been easy, so I’m dedicated to helping others by spreading the message about the power of right alignments—especially when it comes to business and Network Marketing!

Tom Challan once told me that Network Marketing is all about dealing with the ‘junk in your trunk’ and transforming your baggage into your stepping stones for growth. I couldn’t agree more, and I believe that the right alignments are key to making this transformation happen. It’s said that in 5 years, your future will be determined more by the ‘who’ than by the ‘how’. So, as you read the following pages, I want you to think about your current inner circle. 

Consider this: are the people you spend the most time with living the kind of life you want? Do they possess the relationships, health, mindset, and financial stability you seek? What do their lives say about your future?

In this chapter, I’m going to delve into four key areas: Core Values & Principles, Goals & Aspirations, Morals & Standards, and Faith & Spirituality. These are not just words; rather, they are the pillars that uphold the structure of our lives. As we journey through these concepts, I encourage you to listen intently, pause, reflect, and perhaps even re-read if something strikes a chord within you. This isn’t just a lesson; it’s a transformation waiting to happen!

Ask yourself: are you living a life that excites you every morning, or are you just drifting along, settling for less than your potential? It’s time for introspection, for digging deep. So, grab your favorite drink, a fresh notebook, and a pen, and let’s go on this adventure together!

Core Values & Principles

Our journey begins with core values and principles. Picture these like the compass that guides every decision we make. From who we marry to our business alignments, these values are the bedrock of all significant life decisions. And because I wasn’t clear on my values or principles in young adulthood, I had to learn the hard way. My unhindered early career ambitions led me away from deep down what I knew to be important in life. I chased temporary gains and immediate gratification until everything around me fell apart, and it took hitting rock bottom to realize the critical nature of having clear, established values in life. So, I hope I can save you from this heartache.

As a young, goal-oriented Christian woman, I often pondered what a successful Godly woman should look like. I didn’t have any real-life role models as an example, so I focused on outward appearances, mistaking surface-level attributes for true values. But the more I pursued what I should look like externally, the less I concentrated on who I was becoming on the inside. 

Early in our marriage, Brad attended college while I worked a daytime desk job and spent my evenings and weekends with my new side hustle. We were committed to pursuing our goals to build a business and hoped to one day make it our full-time careers. But soon my ambition would take a dark turn when, at the age of twenty-five, I was introduced to a man who owned a Network Marketing travel company. This presented itself as an opportunity to use all the skills I’d developed in an industry which rewarded my drive. 

In this new company, I was quickly recognized as a rising leader and became the face and voice of the company. This was the attention and admiration that I had been looking for! I was rewarded and celebrated, and before I knew it, I began traveling with the owners all over the country. However, this kind of close interaction led to my becoming entangled in a toxic relationship with one of them. He bought me gifts, took me out to nice dinners, and made sure to let me know how fond of me he was. And one unfortunate evening after an event in Las Vegas, he put something in my drink. I woke up unaware of what had happened, full of mixed emotions. I felt shame, embarrassment, and anger—but mostly, I felt trapped. I couldn’t tell anyone that I, a young married woman, was engaging in a risky relationship. 

I wish I could say that this was the end of that story, but it wasn’t. Believing that this was just an inherent part of being a successful woman at the company, I once again became comfortable with it. I was leading a double life. When I was working and traveling, I was the bold, exciting, important woman I’d always dreamed I’d be, but I felt obligated to interact in ways I was uncomfortable with. And when I was at home, I was the good Christian wife I’d signed up to be, but I struggled with the dishonesty and disloyalty I was hiding from my husband. 

Living this double life was exhausting, unsustainable, and devastating. I was trapped in a cycle of shame, manipulation, and self-compromise. This period of time became a defining battle—a struggle between the person I was at home and the person I became on the road. I didn’t know my values or my worth, and I had mistakenly aligned myself with the wrong people, places, and situations to get my temporary fix of validation. My identity became tied up in the false belief that success in Network Marketing meant I needed to win the favor of my male leaders by whatever methods necessary. I told myself that I was in control, but really, I was being controlled. I had become a counterfeit version of myself that I didn’t even recognize in the mirror.

I want to pause here and address the goal-driven women reading this book: If you’re in a similar situation, whether it’s like the one I described, or one of addiction or abuse, I want to impart to you that recognizing these toxic patterns is crucial. I’m here to tell you that no matter how long you’ve been unknowingly participating in this destructive cycle, it’s never too late to change. Speak up, reach out to someone you trust, and make a commitment to align yourself with healthy, growth-minded individuals. This toxic pattern doesn’t have to be your story—your future self will thank you!

Today, right now, it’s critical to define your core values. The first step to realignment is recognizing when something doesn’t match up with your vision of your best self, so you have to get crystal clear on these! It will be the new GPS for your life. For example, my core values are a Kingdom Mindset (God First), relationships, creativity, fun, and personal growth.

After I became clear on these, they ultimately became my guide for every decision I made, whether it revolved around a relationship, a company to partner with, or a new opportunity. Rediscovering my core values was a turning point in my life, but defining these values wasn’t an overnight process—it took years to clarify what mattered most to me.

I encourage you to take the time to define your own core values. They will become your decision-making guide, helping you choose friends, business opportunities, and life paths that align with who you are and who you aspire to be. And to take this a step further, if you have a significant other, take the time to define your family core values as a team. Have a meeting every month with the people in your family to review these values and redirect choices and behaviors where necessary together. 

Goals & Aspirations

With a clear understanding of our core values and principles, we can now focus on our goals and aspirations. I grew up in a home where big goals and dreams were not encouraged, which I know is a common theme for many. If anything, most of us are taught from a young age to be realistic, and that money doesn’t grow on trees. But to achieve greatness, we must first allow ourselves to dream big. And remember, the people you surround yourself with can either support or hinder your growth. It’s proven that what you believe is possible is nurtured and reinforced by the people you spend the most time with! If they aren’t aligned with your goals and dreams, you’re setting yourself up for failure and frustration.

Ten years ago, my family and I made a bold move from Oregon to Texas. This wasn’t just a change of location; it was a complete reset of our lives. We were in a state of surrender, in large part because of the reckless choices I had made. I prayed that God open doors that would be right for us while slamming shut those that were not. New state, new community, new beginnings. Sometimes, to achieve drastic change, you must be willing to take massive steps. This move marked a turning point for us, a line in the sand that paved the way for a future aligned with our true values and aspirations. We became incredibly intentional with our alignments and our faith, and we prioritized the health of our marriage, the health of our bodies, our businesses, our vision, and our legacy. It was a stark contrast to where we had been a decade before.

However, when I emerged from the chaos I had created, I found myself hesitant to dream or set goals. My past choices had eroded my trust in myself, and I attempted to squash any urges to dream big. 

I’ll take this moment to remind everyone reading that the concept of forgiveness—for others and for yourself—is vital. It may sound unrelated to goals and aspirations, but if you haven’t forgiven yourself for negative choices you’ve made in your pursuit of goals in the past, it will keep you from setting new goals. Despite any mistakes, missteps, or downright catastrophes you’ve experienced in your life, you must forgive yourself and let go of shame to allow yourself to dream again. This truly is the first step first toward healing and success!

I’ll share a personal story from about a year ago to illustrate just how powerful specific goals continue to be in my life. One day, as I was cleaning out a storage bin, I found a recipe box with note cards of goals I had written nearly fifteen years beforehand. My life was in absolute turmoil at that time, but somehow, I’d managed to gain clarity about what I wanted. One of my goals was to live in a beautiful home with a tree-lined driveway. And today, I’m living in that exact dream. We live on a wooded acre at the end of a private cul-de-sac. This shows the immense power of our minds and the importance of being specific with our aspirations.

As I wrap up this part of the chapter, I want to offer some advice on how to handle relationships during this stage of alignment. As you gain clarity and start working towards your goals, be prepared for resistance, especially from those you thought were supportive. Growth can be uncomfortable, not just for you but for those around you—and some of the people who were closest to you might pull away because this version of you is new and different. Despite this shift, stay strong! When these situations arise, think of what it will mean to you to become the person you know you’re created to be. Remember, your journey to greatness might require you to reevaluate your relationships. These are the changes that are required for your God-sized goals and dreams. And don’t worry, the people who truly support you will remain by your side!

Morals & Standards

Though similar, morals and standards are distinct from core values and principles. They dictate not only what we decide to do but how we show up in the world. In my twenties and early thirties, my moral compass was skewed, leading me astray. I recall a trip to Miami for a conference that epitomized this misalignment. It was for a Network Marketing company that was known in the industry for throwing the best parties. That weekend, I indulged in every desire, losing myself in the chaos: dance clubs, bottle service, and staying up all night, and sharing a hotel room with co-workers. One morning, my co-worker found me lying on the bathroom floor, and another morning, I had fallen asleep in the hallway of our hotel. Both times, I didn’t know how I’d gotten back to the hotel or who I’d been with the night before. I’d blacked out and blocked out all the memories. And while my co-workers were concerned, I shrugged it off as no big deal since it was common behavior for me, and I considered it fun. 

Coming off of that weekend high, I returned home and announced to my husband that I was ready to live a fast and furious party life, and that I didn’t want the responsibility of being a mom and wife anymore. It sounds crazy, but this story is living proof of just how far we can go off track when we aren’t living by a moral code. Little by little, compromising and spending time with the wrong people, my heart had become so hardened. It didn’t happen overnight; it was a gradual process of aligning myself with the wrong people in the wrong places at the wrong times until I was unrecognizable to myself and those I loved most.

Our alignments have a profound impact on our morals and standards, and my journey is a testament to this. In all the stories I’ve told you, the common denominators are the people that I chose to align with and do life with. Ultimately, their lives modeled for me a way of thinking and being in the world. And this influenced my decisions and led me to adopt habits and behaviors that were not true to who I really was.  

Establishing strong morals and standards is about knowing who you are, what matters to you, and refusing to compromise your integrity for short-term gains or pleasure. Think of them as guard rails on the curvy, mountainous highway of life: without them, you risk veering off the path to your detriment and destruction. Your alignments really are that powerful.

Faith & Spirituality

Without a foundation of faith, knowing that you were created on purpose, with purpose, life can feel pretty meaningless. Shortly after my trip to Miami, after I’d announced my intent to depart from family life, my husband could have just let me leave. He had, after all, endured seven years of being put through hell, and he had every right to tell me to leave. But he chose to stay. He fought for me, for our marriage, and our family. He fought for our future and everything we could become together.

And though my husband is a strong man, I realized that this choice was not made in his strength alone. His foundation of faith in Jesus overrode his human emotion in that moment. Brad led me and our family with such strength in that decision. And it was then when a friend and confidant he knew through bible study reached out to us with a contact—a new alignment, you could say—named Vicki Norris. 

Despite my initial reluctance and a heart heavy with skepticism, I agreed to drive into the country and meet with Vicki at her homestead, Dream Acres. We sat at a table in her office, and she reached out her hands and asked to pray with me. As someone who had only been going through the motions in church for many years, I found the genuine, prayerful environment overwhelming and uncomfortable! All the numbing effects from years of self-inflicted spiritual apathy started to melt away, and I couldn’t help but sob as she continued to pray. My heart softened and I began feeling remorse for what I’d done. And I also felt hope for the first moment in a long time.

Vicki’s prayer was more than mere words; it was a conduit for power and hope. She introduced me to the Sozo Ministry, a healing and deliverance ministry that I’ve referred many people to since experiencing it myself. Vicki also introduced me to the concept of Biblical Entrepreneurship, igniting a journey towards understanding our role in bringing God’s kingdom to Earth. This newfound comprehension reshaped my perception of faith—it was no longer about passively waiting for the afterlife but actively participating in God’s plan here and now! And that mindset forced me to examine all aspects of my life: work, relationships, and everything in between.

Emboldened by these revelations, Brad and I embarked on a bold path, giving up our former lives to embrace a new beginning. We moved in with my in-laws for six months and prayed for direction. It finally came, through an invitation from our longtime friends Tom and Kim Challan. They invited us to visit them in Texas for two weeks, and after that short period of time, we knew it was where we wanted to call home. Though the choice appeared abrupt to everyone around us, we had faith that this was the catalyst for tremendous growth and realignment with our true values and purpose.

In Texas, our integration into the Elevate Life Church and mentorship under Pastor Keith Kraft further solidified our understanding of living a life aligned with our core values and faith. It was here that we learned the immense power of right alignments—how they shape our life’s assignments, open doors at the right time, and amplify our impact in both life and business. And this has made the ultimate difference in the way we live our lives.

Each and every one of us has a unique path in life, and that means that every person’s alignments will be different based on our priorities, morals, core values, and faith. However, I believe there are a few key universal action steps that will help you become more rightly aligned at this very moment.

1. 1. Take time to get clear on your priorities. This will help you establish core values based on what matters most to you. And those core values will help you make every decision you’re faced with, whether that’s a relationship, a job offer, a move, etc. 

1. 2. Take inventory of your current alignments. Look closely into the people and companies you’re aligned with. Are those alignments taking you closer to or further from the person you want to become?

1. 3. Begin to bring your relationships, life situations, and work into closer alignment with the core values you’ve established. This is not an overnight process, and it can take years to achieve. But you can trust me when I say that it’s worth it!

If, during the time you’ve spent with me in this chapter, you’ve decided that you want to focus on improving your alignments in life to better your assignments in life, I commend you—It’s not a small decision. It has the power to change your life in ways that I could only begin to describe in the stories I’ve shared. 

I hope this chapter has deepened your understanding of the significance of your alignments. Let my story be a catalyst for intentional living, for as you rise up, you’ll either see your inner circle elevate with you or gracefully fade, unable to match the heights you’re destined for. Remember—as you forge ahead, do not settle! You are on the cusp of your next great adventure, and I am wholeheartedly cheering for you. I’ll see you out there, ntwrkrs!