Hello, fellow ntwrkrs! I’m absolutely thrilled to have you here with me on these pages as I dive into a topic I’ve been passionate about for decades—the art of self-leadership. Specifically, I’ll be discussing three pivotal traits that will inspire others to follow your lead. As a seasoned sales trainer and coach, I’ve dedicated my career to helping Network Marketers, small business owners, solo entrepreneurs, and corporate teams make a significant impact and generate income from their passions. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a part of this book and share my knowledge and personal experiences with you! As you read the following pages, I hope you are inspired to discover the art of self-leadership.

With thirty-five years of experience in the direct selling and Network Marketing profession, I’ve learned how to navigate this field, and now I have the privilege of helping others do the same. It wasn’t always easy, and there were definitely times I had to learn the hard way, but once I was on the other side, I was able to design a career and a lifestyle that I love. And along the way, I’ve built multimillion-dollar teams, replaced my corporate income multiple times over, and earned monthly personal income that surpassed the annual salaries of many traditional 9-to-5 J.O.B.S. 

I’ve coached thousands of independent consultants to replicate this success, and in doing so, I attracted the attention of the C-Suite at multiple companies, landing me executive-level positions within the industry. I’ve been able to work in the Network Marketing profession at every level—from the field to the corporate office to the boardroom. It’s been quite the journey!

With all of that experience, I’m honored now to be able to share with you my knowledge about leadership—self-leadership, to be precise—because the path to leading others starts with the ability to lead oneself. As someone who has been in your shoes, hungry for growth and a richer life, I’m ready to share three traits that will make you not just an admirable leader but an inspirational one!

In this chapter, I’ll discuss what I call the 3 Cs: Clarity, Confidence, and Courage. My goal is to help you become not just a decision-maker but a beacon to your team, encouraging others to make choices that align with their values and embark on a path that benefits everyone involved. I’ll tell you how to be a clear example for others to follow and give you ways to show others what’s possible when they believe in themselves. Because leadership is not about power and control—it’s about inspiration. So, as you read, I’d like you to keep the following question at the top of your mind: what transformations might occur within your team, your community, and your career when you apply these principles of self-leadership in your life.

In the upcoming sections, we’ll take a look at each of the 3 Cs through the lens of leadership. Are you ready to step up, take charge, and lead? If the answer is yes, then let’s jump right in!

Clarity

Clarity, at its simplest, is about transparency and understanding—being able to tell your team what you’re doing, and where you’re going. But in the realm of self-leadership, it goes deeper than that. It becomes more about discovering, owning, and committing to an internal compass that aligns your values, passions, strengths, and weaknesses with your aspirations and desires.

With internal clarity comes enhanced self-awareness and decisiveness. When you understand yourself and your ambitions, you’ll make choices on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis that align with your deeper goals. Clarity will help you craft a vision of success that’s uniquely yours, and it will put you in the driver’s seat to bring that vision to reality.

I remember being a new mother. It was a wonderful but taxing time when I was learning what it meant to raise a family. I still wanted and needed to work, but as I considered my options, I couldn’t imagine giving up the freedom and flexibility to be with my child. This understanding led me to embrace the Network Marketing profession, because it offered so many things that a high-pressure corporate job couldn’t. The journey to clarity wasn’t instantaneous, but once I figured it out, everything changed.

Like many, I had followed the linear path of high school, college, and a good, corporate job. I wasn’t quite sure at that age what I wanted to do, but I followed that path anyway, and delayed joining the working world even further by staying in school to get my MBA! Yet afterward, even with a master’s degree, a coveted position at Ford Motor Company, and all the trappings of corporate success, there came a point when I realized that my job—while fun, exciting, and full of perks—was just funding a life I didn’t want to be living. That’s when I sought clarity on what I truly desired, leading me to integrate my career with my desire to spend more time with my family, exploring all that life had to offer.

Finding clarity showed me paths and opportunities that had previously been hidden. In fact, my direct sales career started because I half-heartedly agreed to host a jewelry party for a friend who was trying to earn an all-inclusive trip! However, I found myself surrounded by women who were working on their own schedules, making great money, and enjoying lots of time with their children and families. Once I had a clear idea of what I wanted my life to look like, I finally noticed that the answer was right in front of me.

This kind of internal clarity has been a cornerstone of my success, providing me with direction, motivation, and resilience. I urge you to seek your own clarity. Once you do that, the path will reveal itself. Here are a few tips that will be helpful in getting started:

1. Define your non-negotiables. Ask yourself what you want your life to look like, and then be honest with the answers! What excites you? What brings you joy? What are the must-haves? Don’t stay stuck in a life that isn’t aligned with who you want to be.

2. Be open to new possibilities. Take those blinders off and look around—there are people out there living their lives the way you want to live yours! See how they’re doing it, and then embrace the fact that you don’t know it all.

3. Get buy-in from your stakeholders. Do your spouse, your children, or other family members need to be included in this conversation? If they’re not on the same page as you, things can get really messy. If your clarity and your new path forward will affect them, they need to be part of the discovery process.

4. Start taking action. Now that you know what you want, leverage your clarity to make informed decisions and take actions toward it. When you do this, you’ll find that procrastination and indecision disappear completely, and focus and drive will take their place.

Confidence

Now that you’re clear about your goals and you are finally taking action, it’s important to develop the next critical trait: confidence. This means more than just feeling self-assured; rather, it’s about trusting in your beliefs and skills. Confidence is using your abilities to achieve your goals with certainty. And if you’re unsure of what confidence looks like, just think about some of the world’s most successful people—they all share strong belief in themselves, take risks, and listen to their inner voice saying, “You can do this—I trust you.”

I didn’t grasp the power of this concept until my early career mentor, Mary, offered to “lend me her confidence” until I found my own. She was always saying, “If I can do it, so can you.” That was a game-changer! She guided me to build my confidence through bite-sized actions and celebrating each small victory.

As I write this chapter, I’m reminded of a vivid experience I had this past summer—an adventure course where I found myself perched fifty or sixty feet above the ground. I was faced with swinging blocks, each suspended by ropes at precarious angles. I was absolutely frozen in terror as I stared out, filled with doubt and fear, my inner voice protesting loudly, “You cannot do this!”

But during those moments of temporary paralysis, another participant caught up to me. I stepped aside to let her pass, secretly hoping to glean confidence from her success. As she navigated those swaying planks with trust and precision, I realized something crucial: observing her path illuminated mine!

This epiphany was similar to my realization that I could transition from the security of a corporate job at Ford Motor Company to the uncertainties of a commission-based Network Marketing career. I needed to push beyond my comfort zone to forge a new life for myself and for my family. And the confidence to embark on this new journey was bolstered by clarity and vision.

In Network Marketing, just like on that adventure course, I sought out leaders to emulate. Some allowed me to shadow them, while others didn’t. Regardless, I learned how to take the ingredients from their success and map out my own course. By watching how they did it, deconstructing the steps, and replicating them, I was confident that I, too, would find success. So, my challenge to you is to take the following steps to actively build your confidence:

1. Make a list of what it’s going to take to do this. Can you see others achieving what you aspire to? What are they doing that you can do? Deconstruct their steps and map out your game plan to align with your unique strengths. Believe in and trust in yourself!

2. Seek out a mentor. This person can lend you their confidence when you have none and help you devise a strategy to start stacking up those wins on your way to your best life.

3. Recognize that seeing even a portion of the path can make the first step less daunting. Just as headlights only light a short stretch of road on a highway at night, you only need to see what’s just in front of you on your map to success. As you progress, the rest will unveil itself!

Courage

At this stage, you already have the clarity you need to define the life you want, as well as the confidence to take the action to get there. You are equipped to realize your ambitions and listen to that inner voice that tells you, “You can do this.” And this is where the final piece comes into play: courage, which is the strength to act—and keep acting—despite fear.

Remember, courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the resolve to face that fear in service of something greater. Remember that adventure course I wrote about? Yes, taking that first step onto the swinging plank was terrifying, but because I gained confidence by watching the woman before me do it, I could muster the courage to take the first step, then the next to keep going and complete it.

The 3 Cs actually build on themselves. Clarity gives you the desire to find confidence. And when you possess confidence, you naturally want to show up with the courage required to take bold steps. This interconnection is crucial, as every courageous act, each risk embraced, and every challenge conquered bolsters your confidence, which then promotes courage. It’s a continuous cycle that will fuel growth and success for both you and your team!

Reflecting on my own journey, I think about the fear and anxiety I felt when I left a secure job to pursue Network Marketing full-time. I knew I had a mortgage payment coming up in a couple of weeks, but I had no income. My family was expecting me to pull something off, and quickly! And there I was, staring at a blank calendar, devoid of any bookings or leads. Despite knowing the doors this opportunity would open for me, I began to doubt myself, and my own insecurities got in the way of my future success.

I knew I needed a major dose of courage to confront the fears and mental barriers that were hindering me. And eventually, I found that embracing a ‘no turning back’ approach was what ultimately made way for my progress. When I severed ties with my previous job at Ford Motor Company, the need to succeed became non-negotiable. I was forced to embrace activities that previously intimidated me, as I knew that team building and duplication were critical in the Network Marketing profession.

Despite fear and the nagging whispers of unrealistic expectations, I pressed forward. I chose to face challenges head-on, even if it meant being uncomfortable. This is the mindset shift required of those who want success!

Consider this: What is one fear that is currently holding you back? You may possess clarity and confidence but find yourself frozen at the starting line. If that’s you, it’s going to be vital to identify your limiting beliefs and muster the courage to proceed. Does it sound too easy? Well, it’s not easy—but it is simple. Courage is a two-step process: Feel the fear, and then do it anyway.

And courage does more than facilitate action! It’s what will cement your leadership, both in life and in your professional pursuits, because it qualifies you to guide others through similar struggles. Where someone who hadn’t had to dig deep for courage might give shallow platitudes to team members who were facing challenges like, “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay,” or “Just push through,” you’ll be able to offer relatable stories of how you overcame the near-impossible.

So, what are the practical steps to develop courage?

1. Execute your well-crafted plan from step 2. Do this with conviction and dismiss any self-sabotaging narratives by replacing them with success stories you’ve heard from others. Just the execution of the plan itself will remind you that you can do hard things, which is the foundation of courage. 

2. Enlist real-time support from your mentor, coach, or colleague. This person won’t just be helping you plan, they’ll be there in the trenches, encouraging you to push forward through difficult terrain. You might hate them during the process, but you’ll love them later—trust me! I’ve been through it before, and together, you’ll get there.

3. Celebrate every small victory. These tiny triumphs chip away at the monolith of fear. Remember, courage isn’t always a lion’s roar. Sometimes, it’s the quiet affirmation at day’s end that you did your best, and a promise to try again tomorrow.

The crux of true leadership lies in the following mantra: before you can inspire or guide others, you must do so for yourself. If I hadn’t been so conflicted that I was forced to find clarity on the life I wanted, I wouldn’t be here telling my story. If I hadn’t ventured into the unknown and built my confidence up until I replaced and then exceeded my previous corporate incomes, I couldn’t tell you to do the same. And if I hadn’t stayed on the course, even when the obstacles were coming at me from all directions, I’d have a hard time looking my team in the eyes and challenging them to do the same.

This journey, as winding as the road has been, is what molded me into someone who has the life they wanted. Yes, my life and my priorities have evolved along the way, but each time I had to forge a new path to support those shifts, I turned to the principles of the 3 Cs, and I urge you to do the same:

Clarity: Know what you want, your values, desires, and intended outcome.

Confidence: Listen to that voice inside you that trusts your capabilities.

Courage: Embrace this remarkable force that will propel you far beyond your doubts and fears.

Are you willing to take the necessary steps today to build a fulfilling life, one that reflects your values, passions, and desires, and in turn, lead others by example?

The world is in dire need of leaders, and that leadership can be found within each and every one of you. Rise to the occasion and steer toward your destiny, because the finest leader you can aspire to be is the one that resides within! Thank you for sharing your time and attention with me. I hope my chapter emboldens you to author your own story and embrace the life you’ve envisioned. Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life. So go out there and live it with clarity, confidence, and courage. Your future self will be grateful! Take care!